Career The Unicorn: 1K Midfielder

[Scratch]

I've literally had this tab open in my browser for 2 weeks and never got around to actually reading it - until now! 

I really like the style of your updates and you're going fantastically well! I'd definitely back you to get Yadolahi to 800 goals, which is insane for midfielder. 1000 is going to be difficult, but I'd give you a fighting chance of that too, especially if you can keep him playing until close to 40.

The one danger in all of this is hanging on to him. Gotta keep his contract maxed out in case one day he won't sign it. That'd buy some time until you can push further into Europe and improve the reputation of yourself and the club, so he wants to stay.

Anyway, great stuff, can't wait to see how this goes... 

[Jens]

2 hours ago, BatiGoal said:

Maybe they already know. I do.

  Reveal hidden contents

What's the secret?

 

Of course YOU want to know, the most incompetent manager around...

[Jens]

1 hour ago, scratch99 said:

I've literally had this tab open in my browser for 2 weeks and never got around to actually reading it - until now! 

I really like the style of your updates and you're going fantastically well! I'd definitely back you to get Yadolahi to 800 goals, which is insane for midfielder. 1000 is going to be difficult, but I'd give you a fighting chance of that too, especially if you can keep him playing until close to 40.

The one danger in all of this is hanging on to him. Gotta keep his contract maxed out in case one day he won't sign it. That'd buy some time until you can push further into Europe and improve the reputation of yourself and the club, so he wants to stay.

Anyway, great stuff, can't wait to see how this goes... 

Shame on you for not joining in the fun!

But thanks!

Yeah, I can already say I had to move. It would've taken too long to get the finances up to where they needed to be I think. But I give myself a good chance at my new club.

[veerus]

5 hours ago, Jens said:

I'm actually kind of surprised no one has asked me what the secret is  

What's the secret? 

[Jens]

6 minutes ago, veerus said:

What's the secret? 

Well... Tactics of course!

[veerus]

34 minutes ago, Jens said:

Well... Tactics of course!

Damn... Baited! 

[Scott]

Only 39? Terrible season 

[Jens]

2 hours ago, Scott said:

Only 39? Terrible season 

[Jens]

Today a rather long update. Currently my goal is to have him become the best-scoring player ever (not compared to other FMM saves of course). According to Google, that record currently belongs to Jozef Bican whom scored 805 goals (depending on which source you believe; Wikipedia says Pelé scored 767 while Sportskeeda says he scored a whopping 1.281 goals...)

14/4/17: Yadolahi finished the season on 51 goals in 53 games. I’m pleased with that, even though these numbers will never get us close to 1K. Right now I’m thinking 800 would be a very nice achievement. I’ll need to get in charge of Ireland soon as they’re taking away quite some game-time from Yadolahi. Whenever he gets a call-up I can’t play him for 2-3 games because he’s not available or because he returns knackered. When I’m manager, I can opt to leave him out of the squad when they’re facing tough opposition against which he’s unlikely to score, and put him in when they face an easy opponent.

My international career up until now has been rocky, to be honest. I started out with Ghana, but lost in the quarters of the Africa cup (which was disappointing since my Edinburgh save had proven to me how easy it was to win it with a team like Nigeria…). I then left for Colombia as I was tired of always managing African teams; they’re really easy to come by. My South American cup run was again disappointing, but my world cup qualifiers were going really good. But then came Poland and I wanted to manage in Europe.

Again, Poland was a rocky start. But, like with Colombia, everything started to improve right before I left again to go manage Scotland. I just wanted to be closer to home, you see. Also, Scotland is Bae <3. Once more a rocky start and we failed to directly qualify for the Euros. We now get to play play-offs against Finland though, so everything is far from over.

Back to Bray now. We went out of Europe quite unceremoniously. We almost got in the Champions League groups again. We lost at home to Kobenhavn (1-4), it was an unmitigated disaster. I had given up hope. Until the 90th minute of the second leg, when we were up 1-3. In the very last minute we manage to score one more!!!! Extra time it was and I was confident that we could still push on. Things went to penalties and my lads went to shit again. All three penalties were missed. An erratic display.

We were degraded to euro league football, where further drama ensued. In the final group game, we were up 3-2 at home against group leaders Braga. In the group itself we were one point ahead of Aalborg. In the 87th minute or so, Braga manage the equaliser. Aalborg manage a very impressive 4-1 against Lokomotiv Moskou, to send us crashing out of Europe. Such such such a shame. I was devastated. I started the new season very low on morale.

[BatiGoal]

Ghana -> Colombia -> Poland -> Scotland -> .. Dude?? What are you trying to prove?  You'd be stinkin' rich from signing fees alone lol

As for the 51 goal turn out.. don't wanna say it but you're smashing it!

[veerus]

Lol 3 PKs?? Did you have committed tackling on?!?!

[Jens]

58 minutes ago, veerus said:

Lol 3 PKs?? Did you have committed tackling on?!?!

Yes ?

[Ashez]

That's some international journey Jens! Another extremely impressive season breaking 50, keep it up mate. 

[Jens]

Here's a small update for y'all. I've taken a break from this career, which has led me to delay updates. I apologize if you have had to put your life on hold because you kept checking every 5-10 minutes. Truth is a lot is going on right now, I'm looking for new job opportunities etc. I'm also writing a ton of other stuff, while I'm now also playing my Golden Oldies. Please bear with me in these busy times!

20/4/17: We’re a month in and the challenge is progressing at a steady rate. Next season will see the birth of my son. When he’s in the game, I’ll have to move quickly, on to a new team. I’m hoping Porto/Benfica/Sporting will be available then, but at this time I doubt it. I’m not sure yet what I’ll do if time runs out on Yadolahi’s contract. He currently has two more years after the current season, but he’s unwilling to sign a new contract. That’s tricky, because that means I have about 1,5 seasons after the current one to find a new team to my liking.

Yadolahi’s performances meanwhile are good. He was injured for the first two months of the season, missing some vital games. It’s especially a shame because the beginning of the season is usually his best period. But at this time he’s doing very well. I think I can get him to 40, but anything more will be a struggle. That damned injury means he won’t hit 50 this season; we have yet to find some consistency in this. We haven’t been able to play back to back seasons containing 50 goals.

In Europe we found our way to the Champions League group stage quite easily, defeating Brondby and BATE Borisov. Now we find ourselves in a group along with Sporting CP, PSG and Barcelona. Fuck me and my luck. I’m afraid to play them and will probably sub Yadolahi off early in every game, hoping for the odd penalty goal. I’m not hopeful for anything more…

[BatiGoal]

Tough CL group mate. But you know what they say; Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they're graced with. Yodelboy is refusing to sign his contract extension for a reason

[Ashez]

Yikes that's some CL group :(. As for the contract situation that's a real dilemma, hopefully the right solution is just around the corner! 

[Jens]

4 minutes ago, Ashez said:

Yikes that's some CL group :(. As for the contract situation that's a real dilemma, hopefully the right solution is just around the corner! 

For now, let's call it 'a' solution...

[Ashez]

2 minutes ago, Jens said:

For now, let's call it 'a' solution...

Intriguing......

[Jens]

6 minutes ago, Ashez said:

Intriguing......

And perhaps it would be even more correct to just speak of 'a' and leave out the solution  

[mcandrew003]

Liking these updates mate, a good read. Unlucky with that CL group, horrible draw there. Hopefully you manage to tie Yodel (Gonna call him that as I won't spell his name properly) down to a new contract sooner rather than later!

[Jens]

This career is now once again in full swing, with some surprising results!

26/04/17: The Champions League turned out okay. I managed to win 2, draw 3 and only lost the one. It was enough to qualify for the Euro League. Which I didn’t get to play, BECAUSE YOUR BOY TRANSFERRED TO BELENENSES, Y’ALL. My son came in early January. He looks crap, but whatever. I decided to move. Unfortunately… no jobs opened up in time to make transfer. It was already August when I arrived in Portugal.

I inherited a decent enough squad and secured the transfers of my best Bray Men for July. In the meantime I would focus on learning my new team how to play my tactic. It proved necessary. We managed to get into Europe, even though we finished 12th, by winning the Taca de Portugal, after eliminating SLB along the way. We beat Braga (led by Laurent Blanc) by 4-1. Europe, baby.

Unfortunately, I lost half a year with Yadolahi. Doesn’t matter (he only scored 8 in my absence), hopes weren’t up anyway. I will, however, definitely try again with Keane’s regen when I’m done with Yadolahi. So this is a convenient way to get experienced to get even more out of AMC’s. I’m looking forward to the new season.

A lot of pictures to digest. If you have any questions or if you want to know extra stuff, don't hesitate to ask.

[BatiGoal]

#1 GD +80

#2 GD -3

Stop playing that Daisy Duck league 

Belenenses is a great stepping stone for Yodelahi. Great managerial work!

[Brenty92]

Congrats on the move mate, Yadolahi looks real good now attribute wise! Keep up the good work, glad to see this career being carried on again!

[Jens]

8 minutes ago, BatiGoal said:

#1 GD +80

#2 GD -3

Stop playing that Daisy Duck league 

Belenenses is a great stepping stone for Yodelahi. Great managerial work!

I took over from Belenenses in January. They were then placed 12th with an even worse GD. I installed my Yodel-tactics to prepare the team for the coming of their saviour. It cost me, but it guaranteed Yodelahi's smooth integration into Portugal. As for stepping stone: I don't inted moving clubs again before he retires, so he'll have to settle for Portugal  

[Ashez]

His physical stats are brilliant! Also congrats on a risky move, let's hope everything works out  

[Jens]

Extra long update to make up for my absence. I was busy trying to find a new job, but I didn't get it  

28/04/17: I’ve finally played the first games in Portugal. Great succes! We won the Super Taça against league champions Porto. We dominated the game, but gave away a penalty in the 70the minute. Porto received a red card shortly after that and the game went to extra time. None other than Yadolahi brought us the victory! (Anthony Barry, Keane’s regen, had scored our first). The Irish lads I brought with me look set for a bright Portuguese future. Which makes me wonder: have there ever been (succesful) Irish players in Portugal?

By the by, I also picked up the newly formed regens of Hazard and De Bruyne. I’m putting them away on a reserve save. They make for excellent choices to try this challenge again at a later point. Yes, one day I must succeed, surely? On a different note: apparently I got Ireland into the top 15 of football leagues, meaning they received a second Champions League ticket (which means one extra team going into Europe). RIGHT WHEN I LEFT THE DAMNED COUNTRY.

02/05/17: First season in Portugal? Not so good. Not even 30 goals. The next season will have to be kick-ass to even reach 800. For now it turns out I was right all along and should’ve stayed in Ireland. Will this mean disaster? Will Yadolahi ever stop yodeling and start producing the goods? Find out, next time at Yodela - kick some Bati - hihi-time. (It’s a difficult joke, but try to understand it anyway!)

Other than that, the season was quite alright. We managed to finish third, meaning direct qualification for the Champions League. We were in contention for the title for quite a long time, even occupying the first place for a time, but Benfica proved to be better. At least we kicked some FC Porto ass. We beat them 3 out of 4 times we played them, only losing once. Not too shabby, ey?

The new season will start with some fresh talent. Dis gon be good. Though it will have to wait for a while, while I focus on life’s inevitable lemons. Let’s see if we can use those lemons to get some zests for our delicious cheesecake (which is better than lemonade, in case you were wondering what I’m rambling on about).

Ending note: I know I'm sometimes very brief on things like events and transfers so if you've any questions, ask away  

[BatiGoal]

Sorry to hear about the job.

3rd and a(ny) Cup in a debut season is good. Hopefully you manage to reproduce Yodel's "Irish" goal output in Portugal next season. I don't see a unicorn in Yodel yet, he's nothing but an ordinary mule atm.

[Ashez]

Taking the move was always going to be risky but club wise it worked out okay at least. Now the player is settled we just have to hope he can push on and get those high numbers you need. 

[Jens]

1 hour ago, Ashez said:

Taking the move was always going to be risky but club wise it worked out okay at least. Now the player is settled we just have to hope he can push on and get those high numbers you need. 

He's settled alright. Perhaps too much. It wouldn't hurt to unsettle from time to time and actually do something like, say, kick a ball

[Jens]

Can everybody please try not to laugh at me for what I'm about to say next? 

Spoiler

I kind of lost the save while trying a 1k idea at athletic Bilbao. I was trying the idea in the 4th save slot and kept the belenenses in the first. Out of sheer habit I saved athletic in the first now... Stupido mio. I lost about 4-5 seasons. Not sure how to go on from here.