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Scratch

Career Scratch Tries Frenchy Toons [Final]

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· Posted (edited)

The phone rang. Right in the middle of a game. I hate that! But this phone call was worth taking... Some guy named Lee Charnley.

Apparently the Newcastle takeover had fallen through and Mike Ashley had decided to take the club in a new direction. Steve Bruce hadn't bought into it, so had been sacked.

Rather than pay for a decent manager, they'd decided to go for a cheaper option. With my track record in FMM and, more importantly, an asking salary of bus fare, I fit the bill perfectly.

However, I'd have to agree to follow the new direction:

  • No more English players at the club. There'd be too great a risk that some of them might be Newcastle fans and Mike hates Newcastle fans.

  • We can only bring in French players. They've always had good resale value, so Mike loves them. Actually let's make the whole squad French.

  • They have to be 25 or under. Can't have old players, they cost too much.

  • They can't cost more than £16M. Mike's not made of money!

He gave me a link to the full rules: 

 

But first, I had some questions:

  • What if it's their 26th birthday tomorrow? Fine.

  • What if it's their 26th birthday today? Not on! Didn't you understand what I said!

  • What if they cost £15.75M? Fine. Though please buy cheaper players if you can.

  • What if they cost £16M exactly? Watch yourself! We can easily give this job to @AdamNufc or @Woody. Or maybe @Kanegan, he's not even a Newcastle fan, which might be better now I think about it.

  • No no... What if their name sounds French? Like Lascelles or something? Nice try. You need to check their passport. And their birth certificate.

  • Are sell on percentages or player exchanges allowed? What are those? Do you think we understand football or something? We're running a business here! As long as you follow the above rules, it should be fine.

 

I didn't have to think about it too long. I mean the rules are ridiculous and the fans will hate me, but actually having the chance to manage Newcastle? No brainer.

Besides, I've seen a bunch of very promising French players that fit the bill in FMM. Maybe we can even turn this into a success.

 

Edited by Scratch

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16 minutes ago, Woody said:

Go on Scratchy boy  👍

Thanks mate. You get free entry, just tell them Scratch approved it. Mind you they might say no, because the owner's such a tight arse. I've got to bring my own coffee in...

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Good Luck @Scratch , if it all goes well you can apply for the real job , with me and @Woody in your backroom staff , we might need a bit of back up though as our mission is to drag Ashley from SJP to the Tyne Bridge and 'accidentally' throw him into the River Tyne!!!

Excellent write up , hope you like Lonsdale trainers from sports direct with one of his mugs too for your cups of tea as that's the only bonus you'd get for a successful season ( which in fat mike's eyes is 17th ) 

I'm interested to see your tactic and the French players you sign!

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Typical, I applied for this job and was more or less promised it, I even got sent one of them giant Sports Direct mugs and then I find out I’ve been totally mugged off for you. Probably a blessing in disguise anyway so good luck I say.

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47 minutes ago, AdamNufc said:

Good Luck @Scratch , if it all goes well you can apply for the real job , with me and @Woody in your backroom staff , we might need a bit of back up though as our mission is to drag Ashley from SJP to the Tyne Bridge and 'accidentally' throw him into the River Tyne!!!

Excellent write up , hope you like Lonsdale trainers from sports direct with one of his mugs too for your cups of tea as that's the only bonus you'd get for a successful season ( which in fat mike's eyes is 17th ) 

I'm interested to see your tactic and the French players you sign!

Thanks mate. If I get the real job, you're hired! Well can't promise any pay, things being the way they are. I'm sure between the 3 of us we'll find a way to solve the Ashley problem!

Yeah, I'm holding off buying new trainers, because I think 17th is possible...

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40 minutes ago, Ian said:

Typical, I applied for this job and was more or less promised it, I even got sent one of them giant Sports Direct mugs and then I find out I’ve been totally mugged off for you. Probably a blessing in disguise anyway so good luck I say.

They sent you a mug! I guess that's why I got the job, I promised to bring my own...

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· Posted (edited)

Okay, I'm taking the job seriously, so I cleared out the squad of everyone except our resident Frenchmen.

Spoiler

frenchy-toon-season00-06.jpg.61ac5d72cca1fd4e147a14f8406ec39d.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-07.jpg.1154e22cf39ca3dd87b310e851ddeb28.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-08.jpg.203e7f31b5ad916ea9fdc5a0065a2376.jpg

Well almost everyone. I have some players on loan that I'll have to sell next year. And no-one will buy Carroll. And Dubravka turned down some perfectly good buyers. And there is one youth player I didn't manage to sell. But apart from that it's a clean slate.

In turn, I brought in the best Frenchmen I could find.

Spoiler

frenchy-toon-season00-09.jpg.234523a81f2a36931a43cc7f413fcbab.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-10.jpg.3396d0d32b69a57299bdf2269094c32e.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-11.jpg.784c26f8e4a038063781239cf379159b.jpg

Some are genuinely very good, others... the jury is out. I ended up with a huge profit, but at one point I was broke, so I bought some cheaper players. I suspect most will develop into good players, but a lot of them are a little young right now and need a season of playing before they are ready to compete at this level. They'll get it as long as we win enough to keep me from getting sacked.

Here's a look at my squad, showing the age of the players (no new players are over 25). All my non French players are in the reserves and won't play for this team. I don't have to do that, but I may as well get into the swing of things.

Spoiler

frenchy-toon-season00-02.jpg.82790a14c3ddafae2ceb85b95e156aee.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-03.jpg.c9f958e7a69da6a1b9177fa8ac0ce4c5.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-04.jpg.1de41938fd3420018a14a9aa5a95cb7f.jpg

frenchy-toon-season00-05.jpg.e5440cf0c3a54ad2f49872ee3dae2607.jpg

If things are going well after the 3 seasons needed for Frenchy Toons, I'll probably keep going and try to get a couple more entrants on the 5 Season Hero challenge. I'm not sure which players that will be though. 

For the goals leaderboard, it's likely to be either Gouri, who I've been meaning to use since my first FMM20 career. He's slightly younger than I'd like for a 5 year challenge (early 20s would be better), but will turn into a great player:

frenchy-toon-season00-12.jpg.aa19b8656008938260823cb5434c8871.jpg

Or it may be Thuram who is the right shape for my tactic (and hopefully has some development to come):

frenchy-toon-season00-01.jpg.130bbc4ae508ce71df25a9b5200e452e.jpg

For the assists leaderboard, hopefully Saint-Maximum will improve his crossing and become our right wing assister:

frenchy-toon-season00-13.jpg.26e50c3fc941b3566ab179d1b257fd96.jpg

But if he doesn't, then Diaby will be a great candidate:

frenchy-toon-season00-14.jpg.608476f42ec028fa18b7ea7143c00a3f.jpg

Anyway, Gouri, Thuram and Diaby were great signings. All of them needed player exchanges, with the likes of Almiron and Matty Longstaff going the other way (forget the 3rd player). They all need a little development to be good at this level, but they'll be great. The problem is that many of the other players are way behind these guys and are just too inexperienced for this level. 

It's going to be an interesting season.

 

Edited by Scratch

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Good luck mate! Adli becomes class from my experience and Soumare from Lille we had a 35m bid accepted for him in real life in January but he rejected signing for us, massive squad overhaul so lasting the season and maybe scraping top half I'd class as a great first season considering some players needing to gel and get up to scratch ( pardon the pun) 

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Some excellent purchasesin there mate. 

£27m for Aarons!!! Who did you catch sleeping with someone else to get that one sorted? 😂😂😂

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43 minutes ago, AdamNufc said:

Good luck mate! Adli becomes class from my experience and Soumare from Lille we had a 35m bid accepted for him in real life in January but he rejected signing for us, massive squad overhaul so lasting the season and maybe scraping top half I'd class as a great first season considering some players needing to gel and get up to scratch ( pardon the pun) 

Oh I'd forgotten that. This could be a quick save though: 

1280446230_Screenshot_20200724-232519_FM20Mobile-01.jpeg.50c1781c46d10e160d3a1aa5a9ff7e51.jpeg

Haven't scored a goal yet... 😳

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9 minutes ago, Woody said:

Some excellent purchasesin there mate. 

£27m for Aarons!!! Who did you catch sleeping with someone else to get that one sorted? 😂😂😂

Thanks mate. Yeah I find you can often sell young players for a lot more than they're worth. So I ask for a high fee when I offer them out and bring it down if there are no bites. Every so often you'll hit the jackpot.

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3 minutes ago, Scratch said:

Oh I'd forgotten that. This could be a quick save though: 

1280446230_Screenshot_20200724-232519_FM20Mobile-01.jpeg.50c1781c46d10e160d3a1aa5a9ff7e51.jpeg

Haven't scored a goal yet... 😳

Jesus that reminds me of the football under McLaren let alone Bruce 😂

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Some quality looking players there mate, albeit a bit young and inexperienced which is the point of the challenge I guess. Tough start but I’m sure you will turn it around. Good luck!

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14 minutes ago, Woody said:

Some excellent purchasesin there mate. 

£27m for Aarons!!! Who did you catch sleeping with someone else to get that one sorted? 😂😂😂

Someone was definitely a few pints in before the transfer meeting , tbh I'm more shocked he received £6m for the Ginger Pirlo ( Colback )

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1 minute ago, AdamNufc said:

Jesus that reminds me of the football under McLaren let alone Bruce 😂

Mate at this rate, I'm headed to a whole new level. I mean this appointment is worse than Joe Kinnear!

I might still turn it around, but not that confident to be honest. I should have gone with a phased approach and brought them in more slowly. 

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Just now, Scratch said:

Mate at this rate, I'm headed to a whole new level. I mean this appointment is worse than Joe Kinnear!

I might still turn it around, but not that confident to be honest. I should have gone with a phased approach and brought them in more slowly. 

Ashley will be furious , be no croissants for you but the white flag being thrown! 

Don't even , my manager name during this year's challenge cup is actually going to be Joe Kinnear 😂 was either him or the world's greatest coach Carver 👀

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3 minutes ago, smoggy90 said:

Some quality looking players there mate, albeit a bit young and inexperienced which is the point of the challenge I guess. Tough start but I’m sure you will turn it around. Good luck!

Thanks. But I didn't have to go this path. I could have just bought in Thuram, Gouiri and Diaby to score points and stuck with the core of the team so we could actually win games. I could still get the 100 bonus points for having an all French team as long as I done it by the end of the three seasons. but I don't like developing players I know will leave the club, I'd rather get in the long-term players and develop them. Looking like a mistake though.

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6 minutes ago, AdamNufc said:

Someone was definitely a few pints in before the transfer meeting , tbh I'm more shocked he received £6m for the Ginger Pirlo ( Colback )

Haha yeah, I normally can't get anyone to buy him! This time someone put in a 3.5M offer, and I bargained them up, which only works if we've got extra money to spare. Was very happy with that.

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27 minutes ago, AdamNufc said:

Don't even , my manager name during this year's challenge cup is actually going to be Joe Kinnear 😂 was either him or the world's greatest coach Carver 

We've gotten off to a bad start alright, but Kebab is looking good. 🤣

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2 minutes ago, Scratch said:

We've gotten off to a bad start alright, but Kebab is looking good. 🤣

Remember Charles Insomnia

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9 minutes ago, AdamNufc said:

Remember Charles Insomnia

I was a big fan of his....i loved Olivier Bernard. Brilliant wingback.

Laurent Robert though....could shoot from anywhere

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Just now, Woody said:

I was a big fan of his....i loved Olivier Bernard. Brilliant wingback.

Laurent Robert though....could shoot from anywhere

When a Robert thunder bolt nearly killed Bernard 😂 

 

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31 minutes ago, AdamNufc said:

When a Robert thunder bolt nearly killed Bernard 😂 

 

😂😂😂😂😂 shouldnt laugh but that was hilarious

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9 hours ago, Schwantz34 said:

Opening post is fantastic comedy 🤣

Good luck with what is an interesting challenge!

Thanks mate. Though sadly, it's a bit too true... 🙁

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7 hours ago, Rob said:

I’m pretty sure there is some bloke in America who will sign Carroll for you.

Good luck with this! 

I've heard there's a big Carroll fan managing out there who's desperate to sign him, but every time I call him his phone is busy. Every. single. time. The number looks familiar somehow, but I can't place it.

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Looks like you’ve made a poor start and the dreaded sack could be just around the corner. I have every faith in your ability to turn things around.

Good luck.

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2 minutes ago, Ian said:

Looks like you’ve made a poor start and the dreaded sack could be just around the corner. I have every faith in your ability to turn things around.

Good luck.

Thanks mate. We turned the corner right after my last screenshot:

image.png.d287d79688160739cfaffdaf265b39e6.png

It's the 4th December now and we're up to 10th. Still only a goal a game, but crisis averted and pretty much every player has upgraded 2 or 3 times, so we're looking much better now.

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